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Sunday 6 December 2015
Thursday 12 November 2015
a shoe festival
the two. Mary Anne woke up one morning and stared at her shoe rack for
over half an hour. She had not found it interesting. It looked like a
terible rainbow with a uniform colour combination. Red, black, black,
black, oohh blue there, another red, animal print... Wait is that
pink? She stared at the ceiling and wondered how it would be to have a
multy coloured shoe rack. Ideas fell from the ceiling like water
through a leaking roof! She would create a shoe shopping list only for
three months. Nevertheless it was not a shoe shopping list only it had
more shoes than anything else.
Mary woke up three months ago and stared at her shoe rack for
a hour, she could hardly decide what to wear! Her room glowed! Her
excitement was something she could not explain and she had a 90%
increase in friends visiting than before, when she asked they said "
your room is like walking into a shopping mole everyday, its my kind
of hangout kind of place". Three years leter Mary anne was running her
own shoe shop! ... Now introducing "the shoe festival" there is
beauty in variaty! Changing your idea of foot wear! Giving you the
"wow I must get me those" sensation! So buckle up this will be an
interesting ride! Remember take pictures and follow on instagram
@colourmagazineszambia. Instagram.com/colourmagazineszambia
Wednesday 11 November 2015
lyness luo's fashion: ELEGANCE AND COMFORTABILITY
There are some people that enjoy dressing up every once and a while
and on special occasions, but not all the time. Most of the time they
just find something they want people to see them in. Well, which one
are you?
Depending on your mood, you can be either of the described characters.
Each time that you want to go out, what is it that you want to wear?
How do you want to look? What are you searching for?
These few questions bring us to today's subject. ELEGANCE and COMFORTABILITY.
Some people want to keep up elegance. Always want to be dressed up and
keeping it on fleek. Which is amazing and not at all a bad thing to
do. But,are you comfortable? Everytime you want to configure to the
newest wrinkle, always make sure it is something that will not only
exquisitely reveal elegance, but also make you feel comfortable.
Where as others would decide to wear high-heels and won't be able to
walk ,all in the name of fitting in. You can always look for the right
length of those heels that would still malleate amazingly with your
glamour. Do not punish yourself, mold your pieces together eloquently.
However, one would ask,"Is elegance only in the wearing pretty dresses
and high-heels?" My answer to that is, "NO"
You can be elegant in any form of dressing. Be it casual,
smart-casual, funky-style, formal etc. It is therefore, how you piece
together that which you want to rock. Yet still malleate
comfortability in your style.
Furthermore, if you are that person who dresses up occasionally or
everyday, not only should you look for elegance, but also
comfortability in your outfits.
And remember, looking good is about you and your decisions. Make
fashion your friend, a hobby and a sport. Feel good and shine. Till
next time..
Saturday 31 October 2015
cover: This is why we have fashion killers PART 1
lady's dressing enthusiasm! Have you ever gone to your shoes rack and
completely failed to pick a shoe that will bring out your out fit?
What's that?? It does not matter what shoe you wear? Is it because its
down there and everyone else looks at what's above? Well then you are
wrong! The shoes you wear play a huge and important part in looking
good!
Allow me to prove this, sometime you wear shoes that you had not
fully decided you wanted to wear but because you were in a harry you
just had to put them on! But you get the feeling your entire outfit
looks terrible despite people telling you they love your dress for
example, that's because some thing is wrong. You might wear the best
out fit but if your shoes don't smile back you won't stand out. "Wow
funny, everyone loves this dress but when I wear these shoes they
never notice me" we bet that explains it.
So what do people call a killer out fit? How should I pick my
shoes? Take your time! You might be wearing a rainbow dress ( assorted
colours ) but I'm sure there is one colour that appears to glow more
than the rest, it might be two. From there you start to pick what shoe
you will wear, red high heals? Blue? Pink? Black? How about flats?
Note therefore that you might not also have all the colours uniform to
your clothes no wonder we have colours like black or animal print that
might suit on a number of clothes although not all of them. You will
agree with me that colour is exciting, I have noticed ladies who wear
plain coloured outfit but her shoes and lipstick are the same colour!
Colour is noticeable. Look at it from the bright side, you can have a
pair of black heels or flats and be able to still bring out that
amazing coloured outfit, I wouldn't say the same for white though.
We all know that heels are uncomfortable for prolonged wearing
so most ladies have devised on a spare pair of either flats or
slippers. Do you notice how everyone can tell you changed into some
other shoe? Obviously height and a new comfortable walk is the reason,
but colour too is one of them. Imagine it you where in these awesome
classy pink high heels and now you not only shorter but missing a
colour. " Wow never pictured it like that" keep a sparkling dress cord
through out the day, carry an identical colour of flats maybe or some
colour close to the other shoes. Black will be fine but think of it
this way, if pink looks "OMG" then black will be just "oh okay" but a
pink pair of flats will be "wow" in the equation. You will look
shorter yes, but maintaining the same glows. Some might not even
notice the difference because you still sparkle like they first saw
you. You might even look better, don't get me wrong though I am not
saying black is not a good second option on the contrary it is an
awesome set, let's say its keeping a stylish advantage even when you
have an emergency for example a broken heel. so one day when that
happens to you in your red heels, smile and remove a pair of red
flats. Every one will ask " wait did she know it would happen?" Of
course you knew you look magnificent *wink*
Remember you have the right to look good!
Be sure to read the next article :)
Wednesday 28 October 2015
Mushroom, Macaroni and Tuna
pulled my
Dairy I found a life saver recipe, funny I wrote it in my dairy
Subtitle on a day of panic
1 large onion
1 can mushroom or celery soup
1 can tuna
2 chopped gherkins
Grated lemon rind
Pinch mixed herbs
1 cup cooked macaroni or rice
½ cup creamy milk
½ cup grated cheese
Fry onion. Add soup, milk and half cheese. Add tuna and gherkins –
heat, add herbs, rind, and macaroni. Heat (if in a casserole dish top
with cheese and heat under griller).
Miss Nice Melody
Tuesday 27 October 2015
Cover Story: My rapist, my own city
My name is Bupe Chawanzi Mwaka
I'm a 20years old lady who by the age of 8 knew what it was like
to have sex . In the year 2004 my uncle raped me .It all started when
we where left under his care and my parents where working . I loved
cartoon so he found me watching "power puff girls" which was one of
the childrens favourite at the time. He asked me to sit on his lap,
not expecting anything strange I did likewise . It was normal to sit
on his lap. He whispered in my ear saying ''we are about to play a
game.'' I loved games so I was so excited . Soon he picked up a
blanket, he covered himself and I .whilst I was on his lap he pulled
my panties down .Being young I was ok with what he did, I still
remember the pain, it was so painful that I dropped a tears .when he
was done ( it disgusts me ) he asked me not to tell anyone not even my
mum all else he would kill us both . This continued for about three
years and some months . He would pull me if I resisted, he forced me
to have oral sex with him . In eighth grade I told a friend and she
encouraged me to tell my parents, what he did to me was wrong. I was
too scared of losing my mom so I ignored her advise . Three years
letter I told my mum through a note and all she said to me was not to
tell anyone and to forgive my uncle .I tried but I just couldn't so I
shared the story with another uncle who is based in America . He told
me to find solid evidence then he could help me take him to court .The
man who slept with me comes home often and I have no choice but to put
a smile on my face.
I could not share my story, broken and ashamed I pulled myself
through life. Everyone thinks its just come out and tell someone,
sometimes people will know but will never support you, Many go through
such but my advice to them is that they should speak out now they say
the earlier the better. Hard as it is, be careful if you are being
threatened. Secure the lives of the ones you love first and tell
someone. I am not the first to come out openly, but let me not be the
last. You have the power to change the way other youth think
Natalie La rose addiction
Hot! Sexy and amazing and guess what she wants to rock with SOMEBODY
Lol #tbt
Colourmagazineselfies@blogspot.com
Monday 26 October 2015
Friday 23 October 2015
also introducing CARS VINTAGE 2000
For men
For boys
For engine lovers
And ladies of stlye
Wednesday 14 October 2015
New cover: new excitement , finally here
and added sections. MPHATSO chapter two coming your way, and a lot
more.
The Colour magazine selfie.( Fig 1.2) Its a new photo loving section
of colour magazine. How it works? Well you will be sending us your
best selfies, the ones you are comfortable with, we will edit them for
you to our magazine standard and then the biggest thing is if it makes
it through your selfie will be used in the magazine for any section be
it fashion creativity or even on the magazine cover or adverts of
colour magazine. It will be shared on all our accounts and sites as
the pic to die for also on instagram :) . Be your own celeb. We will
make you love your selfie.
My weekly Dairies ( fig 1.3) this is another new section that is dairy
loving. How it works well you send us an exciting part or day of your
dairy that you are comfortable with people reading, if you want your
name will be eliminated. A funny day, a day with a loved one, an
admirer? Its all up to you, see just how many people love your
creativity.
Follow us on instagram @colourmagazineszambia
Twitter @colourfreak2
Facebook: www.facebook.com/colourfreakpicturespage
Whatsapp: 260971863114
Bbm:2AE3B6EE
Email. Informecolourfreak@gmail.com
colour magazine foods:
 |
| Add caption |
Be your own chef
Saturday 10 October 2015
MPHATSO: THE GIFT. " this is my story "
A gift is something acceptable around the world , no
matter how humble it may be . It might be small but we find it rude to
complain. Nevertheless quantity, texture or size does not change its
name. Even if you have not yet discovered it's really is a gift. We
call it Mphatso . I still remember when I first received my gift, it
actually reached me disguised as a curse . 'if you don't tell me who
gave you that, you will not sleep in my house' these were the word of
my father, the man that had been very loving in my life. There were
tears in my eyes that I could hardly see his face. I shifted my view
to the floor to allow my tear drip to the floor. The next thing I felt
was the sharp pain against my cheeks that set my head on fire and a
sharper sound that accompanied it was left ringing in my ears like a
reminder . He did not even hear me cry because he was already gone by
the time I cried out aloud. My mother stared at me from a protective
distance. She too had tears in her eyes. She could not believe it
either. It happened to any other girl but never did it ever cross my
mind that it could happen to me. I was pregnant.
For the first time in my life I realised how real it was,
I was going to have a baby soon. I figured it out that way, it just
happened so fast. I do recall we were going to a friends' party.
Mubita and I had known each other for half a year then, he was the
nicest person I had ever met. He was a handsome young man and loved to
chat mostly about how he felt about me. After that awesome party we
went to his house, well actually it was his fathers' house. No one was
around at the time making us the owners of the whole place. We owned
the place, we dance and we sang. Clearly that was an awesome moment,
if I could grasp it I would make it last an entire life time . My
thoughts were interrupted by a sudden open door. We all thought it was
my father returning for some more punishment, when I looked up I
beheld my elder sister Natasha. 'Musonda! Ninshi? I came immediately
after hearing the news' she sat next to me on the cold floor. My
sister and I fought a lot when we were kids, as we grew up we
understood each other more and more. 'Tell us, landa fye who did
this?' her voice was reassuring. I held her so close to myself and
begun to cry, 'it was…' I lost my voice before I could say Mubita.
Everyone was quiet for a while; my sister understood perfectly the
reason for doing so. She stared at me with so many questions that she
could not ask with our mother around . 'nani uyo?' her voice made both
of us jerk. There was anger in her voice 'who is this mubita?' she
walked over to me and my sister 'Muzo, landa! Who is this mubita?'
answering was a simple thing to do now but there was no assurance she
wouldn't add her own share of punishment. Walking closer to us but
only to be greated by so much fear. Where had her motherly wormth
disappeared to?My mother is from the copperbelt where the bemba
language is mostly spoken and her being bemba made quite an impact on
her children . Being around her made it possible for us to speak the
bemba language of our mother than the Ngoni of our father who was from
the eastern province, I guess that's why it's called mother tongue .
She stared at me in disbelief as I answered chokingly 'my boyfriend'.
She had never heard of Mubita, to top up on that I was dating now?
when father returned she was still looking at me 'wakamba naye mwana
wako?' ( did you talk to your child )was the first question although
it was to tease her . 'mufunseni' ( ask her )she said as she walked
away quite disgusted. 'Who is he?' he asked. I stared at my sister for
I saw refuge in her. She nodded, giving me the assurance. 'Its…it's….'
I hesitated 'iwe nizakumenya!!' ( I will beat you up ) his voice deep
and full of stress. 'Mubita' he was confused, 'Mubita? Who is this
Mubita? Iwe nindani wamene uyo Mubita?' his voice still hash but he
sounded a little relieved, 'okay, fine tomorrow we will take you to
Mubita's house. Get ready for that.' He then proceeded to his room
with mum rushing after him. It was clear she wanted to beg him on my
behalf The next day I woke up knowing what the day would hold . My
night was full of night mares, I hardly slept. Mubita knew nothing
about this, this would be a shock for him, maybe he won't be so
shocked we had unprotected sex and this was bound to happen. I was
worried about how he would react, any way he loved me . My comforts
prepared me for what was coming. Its easy to say I managed to smile
due to the fact that the ordeal was over.
Mubita's home was a thirty minutes' drive from mine. No
one said a word on that journey, my sister was very supportive the
whole trip. She held my hand and time to time whispered 'it will be
alright' I was happy she was around, she was not just my sister at the
time but my rock as well as my mentor. When we arrived at Mubita's ,
my breath could not catch up with my heartbeat. We humbled ourselves
and pretended there was nothing wrong, luck was on my side for it
seemed everyone was around, his young brother Mark opened the door. He
was surprised to see me among people he hardly knew, 'halo,
ulibwanji?' my father greeted and waited for a response before he
continued. 'baliko bene ba nyumba? He was calm and had a smile on his
face 'baliko, allow me to call them' the young boy went back in, and
a minute later a woman walked out, 'yes, how can I help you?' she did
not know any of us. 'is this the house?' father asked me before he
turned to talk to the woman. 'mummy tabwelela nkani ya mwana wanu
mubita' ( we have something we have to discuss with Mubita ) she
stared at us for a while before she allowed us to come in. What ever
we had to talk to Mubita about was supposed to be in the hearing of
his parents. In fact his father had to know what was going on first.
Every step into the house was bringing memories. I
looked at the walls that witnessed my great mistake. In the living
room sat a man of whom I presumed was his father. He welcomed us as
his wife sat just next to him. 'Ati balinakani na mwana wanu mubita'
she whispered to him although we could all make out what she was
saying. 'yes sir how may I help you?' the man was humble and very
kind. For the past thirty minutes the two men exchanged speeches, I
had already lost them in the greeting . Facing the floor, my mind was
in the middle of a flash back. I could remember the first day I and
Mubita met in school. He was quite popular, he spoke to almost
everyone. He played football in the school team and was quite skilled
. Most of the time I and the girls would watch them play, I only
noticed Mubita when he was given a chance off the bench. Everyone
cheered as he ran onto the pitch. Who was this guy? Questions ran into
my head. My best friend answered most of them as I couldn't resist but
ask her. 'He is Mubita, he plays for the school team. Haven't you
heard of him?' I already lost her just after she mentioned his name.
'Muzo! Iwe Musonda!' my sister was whispering. Oh my! I was still in
Mubita's house, how long had it been? What had I missed? A few minutes
later Mubita's mother walked in followed by Mubita. I had not even
noticed she walked out of the room.
He seemed shocked to see me but he hid it from his
father, staring at his mother who gave him a swift signal before he
sat. 'Do you know this young lady?' his father pointed at me. There
was silence, it was at that moment that I started to feel uneasy and
my faith abandoned me. 'Mubita!?' his voice was firm. 'No! I don't
know her, basakila ine olo kapena basoba' (are they looking for me or
are they lost? ) he tried to humble himself but I found every word
from his mouth rude and painful. He did not know it but my love for
him suddenly turned into hate. I did not know he was such a liar. A no
good liar, I allowed so many ideas of hate into my preoccupied mind.
My sister looked at Mubita in disbelief. 'if you don't mind me asking
but upunzila kuti?' she knew that if his father knew nothing of this
Mubita would not lie in frant of him and she was right. 'kamwala high
school' he quickly responded. This made my father see my sister was
driving at, he picked it up from there and said 'so ukamba kuti you
are both in the same school but you have never seen or talked to her'
Mubita begun to Punic 'imwe mwana wanga akamba ati samuziba mwana
wanu, are you trying to force him into accepting vintu vamene saziba'
the woman protected her son, my mother was at that moment prepared to
say something unfortunately Dad quickly held her hand. That meant calm
down so she let her words burn her deep within her. Mubita's father
did not say a word and when he did we were all silent. ' sir, I am
sure it can be hard to accept but we were not there when all this
happened we cannot take either side, I assure you that if Mubita was
responsible he would surely take responcsibility. So make sure you ask
her who really got her pregnant'
The most painful part of all this is that I heard
it all, looking deep into Mubita's eyes was all that my frustration
could allow me to do. All I could see in his eyes was a terrified
little child trying to hide in his guilt. My sister held me close as
we stood up to leave. For the first time I felt the weight of my own
body, it seemed the lord had ignored me to punish me or something like
that. On our way back home it was a de_ja_vu silence, only the engine
assured us we were not dreaming . Me and my sister whispered.
'Nalachita shani Natasha?' (what will I do?) I asked her, for I was
comfortable around her. 'she held my hand and smiled brightly 'don't
worry, it will be alright'
my mother was so upset she hardly said a word and tears only
spoke the loudest. Then her tears made me see right through her, she
was not upset. Maybe a little disappointed by the way everything was
handled, her child could make a lot of mistakes but she never believed
she was a liar. She looked behind with tears in her eyes. No mother
wants to see her child suffer especially in such a situation. She
looked back at her husband who said nothing.
* * * * * * *
My pain was far from over, when we were home my parents
locked themselves in their room, I did know to expect after wards. By
then all the neighbours heard about my unfortunate situation. I swore
never to walk around again. An hour later my mother walked out of her
bed room, it seemed she was crying from the swell eyes. She loosened
her chitenge (rapper) and gave me some money that she hid on the edge.
I immediately knew just what my fate would be, 'ngaulenifwaya please
call me mwana wandi' she hardly stopped her tears from exposing the
sadness she greatly felt inside. She didn't say anything more when
father walked out. 'Natasha,mutandize kulonga vintu mufana wako' his
voice was soft but firm. My heart was on fire, my breath failed me. I
held on and fought so hard to stay conscious.
'Daddy nipapata, nezamutandiza kuti amukulise mwana' ( Dad
please, I will help her ensure the growth of the child ) Natasha tried
to defend me or should I say stood up for me. My father is the type
that was so caring but he never wanted to be weak, he always made sure
he taught us how to be good people, he had to punish me. It was time
to face my greatest night mare.
--
Rasy
Saturday 3 October 2015
are your ready for a new cover?
ABOUT: colour magazine
Have you been seeing colour magazine ads but you have no idea what
it is? Well colour magazine is the fastest growing youth talent
magazine from colour freak pictures (CFP) that will not just entertain
you but will bring to you the stories you have never heard of. Filled
with so much, it is divided into different sections namely, food,
fashion, mama's boy ( stories,facts,mysteries, news ) entertainment,
spotlight, health, truth and many more exciting sections you would
love to see and read.
In case you are wondering why its a talent magazine, colour
magazine is based more on exploring the youth talent! Expose to the
world the creative youths. We only publish what you allow us to and
anything that might offend the reader is sure to be removed within 24
hour if reported.
colour magazine is open to any one, of any age and hopes to
reach your required standard and interests. Fun promotions and games
will be added, communication with editors and the founder. It invites
readers from all around the world Asia, Africa , North America ,
Europe , south America, Canada. So if you are having a hectic day lay
back and read colour magazine we guarantee a smile on your face. :).
But hey wait what if you want to share something your self? Well you
can write to colour magazine too. Email address just underneath this
ad.
Each day gets more and more people interested in colour
magazine, don't be left out, this might be your chance to interact
with people from around the world. Your art! You pictures, your advise
and your stories . How do you feel about colour magazine so far?
There is more.....
You can follow or find colour magazine
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Colour magazine: adding colour to your imagination :)
Monday 28 September 2015
Wednesday 23 September 2015
Sunday 20 September 2015
Music by lyness luo
Some call it a form of sound that is pleasing to the ear.Others call it a
bridge that connects people to the outside world (a some what spiritual
world).What do you call it?
I too have my own way to describe it,so follow me and let us do this
together.Everything around us has an element of it.Each sound made or
produced in it does it lie.If you still wondering what am referring to it's
'MUSIC'. Did you know that even the rhythm of your heart beat produces
music? Many would not believe this. Have you ever tried to take a deep
breath held it and listened to your heart beat? With that sound music can
be made.
However, it is a channel between people and their society.A tool used by
most people to express their views and ideas. In every atmosphere, it
creates a particular impact. Some studies show that listening to fast
music while driving increases the rate of accidents. In farms, farmers
playing music to their animals while cultivating increases the
production.Even babies in their mother's womb respond to music.Let us not
forget how wars were won through music in the Bible.It really is an
incredible thing one must wonder.From here, you notice that it is a
language of inspiration,love and understanding.A sense of freedom, a form
of self expression.People speak out freely on most public affairs through
music.
In my world,music is my life,my passion and mood changer. Every day of my
life is defined by music.Because everything i do,speak.touch and feel turns
into lyrics.And every sound i hear,be it a car hooting produces a rhythm in
my ears.I fell in love,not with a person but with music.The harmony it
leaves in my heart,in my life is unexplainable.Even when am sick,there is a
special type of music that i litsten to, and believe me you i get
healed.When am depressed,tired and feel like giving up,just listening to
the right music brings me up again.It is the love of my life.It can be
yours too.
Tune in for the next topic,where we will discover the right music
depending on your condition and many more. Remember, music is your friend,
good for the health and soothing to the soul.
Saturday 12 September 2015
Flash back: do you remember the previous magazine?
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"Adding colour to your imagination"
Sunday 6 September 2015
cover story: A teenage god
"Local people believe their wishes will come true if they visit him
But, Arshid is considering surgery to remove the tail and help him walk
He has not been formally diagnosed but could have a type of spina bifida
An Indian teenager is worshipped as a god because he has a 7ins 'tail'.
Arshid Ali Khan, 13, has become a divine symbol in the state of Punjab."
"Locals have hailed him a reincarnation of the Hindu monkey god
Hanuman - and refer to him as Balaji.
Arshid has to use a wheelchair and he is considering having the 'tail'
removed. He said: 'This tail has been given to me by God. I am
worshipped because I pray to god and the wishes of people come true."
Article By Emma Innes
www.dailymail.co.uk
Wow! In a world were the youth are taking a seat in the front row of
responsibility this particular story seems to fit in. India has a rich
culture, and each day something new comes from them. The fact of their
gods and how many they are is not a mystery, Arshid's story however
made me wonder.... His tail was a mystery. Nevertheless, I have read
stories of such situations and non of them have been worshipped. But
with respect to other beliefs we would like to ask Arshid how it feels
like to be a god, an interesting boy he is . A youth in the centre of
attention. What would you do if you were called a god? Because I know
I would ask for soo much I would become the next Bill Gates. Lol
Friday 4 September 2015
Magazine christian truth: a prayer for her
found with graucoma. She might need an operation and at somepoint
might go blind. I believe blindness is not her portion nor that she
will have an operation at her age. Its by faith she will be healed in
jesus name. He will make a way. For those that will join me in prayer
may the lord bless you through christ jesus
Sunday 30 August 2015
cover story: "How she wants you to treat her but will never ask"
-To touch her waist
-Share secrets with her
-Give her a jacket
-Kiss her slowly
-Hold her
-Lough with her
-Invite her somewhere
-Hangout with her and your friends together
-Put her onto your lap
-Talk about her in fact brag about her
-Always tell her you love her
-Kiss her unexpectedly
-Tell her she is beautiful
-Make her feel loved
-Kiss her in front of other girls *bet you will receive an A+ for that one. Lol
-Don't lie to her
-Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day
at school and how much you miss her
-Be there for her
-Don't ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you are mad,
if she's upset comfort her.
-When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.
She will never tell you all these things not because she is fall of
pride but because she was naturally created like that, no wonder you
usually approach her. It wouldn't hurt to love her a little, and now
knowing her secret it will be a walk the park. But don't let her know
colour magazine revealed it, let's keep it between us. Lol. Make sure
you read more of "the way she wants you to treat her but will never
tell you"
You can contribute by commenting or sending as an email:
colourfreakinfo@gmail.com or follow us on twitter @colourfreak2
Friday 28 August 2015
Cover story: OMG!! its tottaly a heart break cure
a cure for those wet my pillow tears? wow Ikr? leading hypnotist Paul
McKenna and psychotherapist Dr Hugh Willbourn claim they can teach you
to mend a broken heart. Using their unique 10 step method, you can
remove emotional pain and feel free to enjoy life fully again - in
days.
• ACCEPT THE PAIN
Accept that you will have to go through some pain. It is an
unavoidable truth that if f you loved enough to be heartbroken, you
have to experience some suffering.
When you lose something that mattered to you, it is natural and
important to feel sad about it: that feeling is an essential part of
the healing process.
The problem with broken-hearted people is that they seem to be
reliving their misery over and over again. If you cannot seem to break
the cycle of painful memories, the chances are that you are locked
into repeating dysfunctional patterns of behaviour. Your pain has
become a mental habit. This habit can, and must, be broken.
This is not to belittle the strength of your feelings or the
importance of the habits you've built up during your relationship.
Without habit, none of us would function. But there comes a time when
the pain becomes unhealthy.
When you enter your bedroom at night, you switch on the light without
thinking. If you obsess about your ex, and feel unhappy all the time,
it's likely that your unconscious mind is 'switching on' your emotions
in exactly the same way.
Without realising it, you have programmed yourself to feel a pang of
grief every time you hear that tune you danced to, or see your ex's
empty chair across the kitchen table.
• CHANGE YOUR HABITS
Now you have to break those connections. Turn off the music that
reminds you of your ex. Make your home look and feel different from
when your loved one was around. Move the furniture.
Take up a new activity. And keep moving: exercise is the single most
effective therapy for depression.
The point of these changes is to break up the old associations and
give yourself a new environment for your new life. The changes you
make don't have to be permanent. Even if it is just using a different
shampoo and deleting your ex's number from the memory of your mobile,
change something. Now.
• CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS
The next step is to do the same thing on the inside - transform your
habits of thought. In a relationship, we build up a huge array of such
habits. When the love affair ends, these patterns can still be
running.
To change your thinking habits, you need to understand a little more about them.
Have you ever witnessed the same event as someone else, and later
found out their account of it was completely different from yours?
Each of you saw the event through a 'frame', made up of your personal
beliefs, feelings and internal habits.
If you are finding it devastatingly difficult to handle the end of
your relationship, you may need to change this 'frame'. You will need
to reframe your heartbreak. Stop seeing it as the end of your
happiness. Instead, turn it into a challenge; view it as an
opportunity.
Being heartbroken can make you feel worthless and hopeless - but that
is because the frame you are using is too narrow. Learning to see your
situation with a different frame is a wonderful liberation.
• VIEW YOUR RELATIONSHIP FROM THE OUTSIDE
The following exercise will help you look at your circumstances from
different points of view, so you gain helpful insights.
1. Think about the break-up of your relationship. What are the
judgments or generalisations you have made about yourself and your ex?
2. Now think of someone you admire - a character from history or a
real friend. Imagine they are watching a movie of this part of your
life, and step into their shoes to watch it instead. Imagine what
their comments would be.
3. Now imagine that a neutral observer is watching the movie of your
life. Step into their shoes and watch it from there.
4. Notice the differences that you see from each point of view. Which
ones are helpful? Which ones make you feel better? Use these
perspectives to view your relationship in a new light.
People who get over difficulties well rarely see what has happened to
them as a disaster. They frame it as a challenge. It is a matter of a
point of view. It is not what happens to us, but how we interpret it
that determines the outcome for us.
• CHANGE HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF AND HIM
The next stage is to focus on your mental picture of your lost love.
By changing how you represent your ex in your mind, you can greatly
reduce or even eliminate your distress.
You must learn to control your 'visualisation'. Every single one of us
makes pictures in our imagination - and we can all learn how to change
the pictures. It is important to learn to do this, because our bodies
react to what we imagine in the same way that they react to what is
actually happening to us. Memory and imagination affect our feelings
in the same way as reality does.
We are constantly altering our state by the pictures we make in our
imagination and the way we talk to ourselves. So it is vital to
control those pictures and not let them run away with our feelings.
• CHANGE HOW YOU SEE YOUR PAST
1. Answer the following question. Which side of your front door is the
lock on? To answer, you have had to make a mental picture of the door.
You have made a visualisation.
2. Now try to imagine what your front door would look like if it was
bright orange or had yellow stripes down it. Make it bigger. Move it
away so that it is smaller. Move it further away and down a bit so you
are looking down on it. Make it open. Change it in different ways.
3. Think about your ex now. As soon as you remember what someone looks
like, you are using visualisation. What is the expression on his or
her face? Observe what your ex is wearing and what he or she is doing.
Where do you see the picture of them? In front of you, or to the left
or the right? Is it lifesize or smaller? Is it a movie or a still
image? Is it solid or transparent? Now, as you keep that image in your
mind's eye, notice the feelings that arise. Make a note of those
feelings.
4. Now you could remember or imagine them differently. You can imagine
you are a great film director. You can reshoot the scenes of your
memory and imagination in any way you want. You can change the action,
soundtrack, lighting, camera angles, framing, focus and speed. Change
how you are visualising your ex and notice how it affects your
feelings.
5. Bring to mind the picture you had of your ex.
6. Notice where it appears and how big it is.
7. Now drain the colour out until it looks like an old black and white picture.
8. Move the image further away until it is one-tenth of its original size.
9. Shrink it even further, right down to a little black dot.
10. Notice how your feelings have changed and compare how you feel now
to the note you made earlier.
You will notice that some changes have a bigger effect than others.
Images that are closer, bigger, brighter and more colourful have
greater emotional intensity than those that are duller, smaller and
further away.
Standing outside your memories and watching as if they were a movie
helps you distance yourself from them.
• FALL OUR OF LOVE - FOR GOOD
Now you are ready to tackle the central problem using the
visualisation technique. Part of being heartbroken is the fact that
you still feel in love. It hurts because part of you is still attached
to your ex. This exercise helps that piece of you release itself.
1. List five occasions when you felt very in love with your ex. List
them so you can easily call them to mind.
2. Start with the first of those memories. Play with it. Move the
image away from you so that you can see yourself in the picture. Make
it small.
3. Drain out the colour so it is black and white, then make it
transparent. When you look at your memory like this, it will seem as
if the event is happening to someone else, and the emotional intensity
will be reduced still further. You are starting to re-code your
memory.
4. When you have finished re-coding the first memory, do the same for
the next one. Work through them until you have done all five.
5. Remember in detail five negative experiences with your expartner,
where you felt very definitely put off by him or her. List the five
experiences.
6. Take the least appealing memory and fully return to that moment.
Try to relive it.
7. Now turn up the colour and the clarity. Make the memory as bright
and clear as you can, and experience the feelings more and more
strongly.
8. Go through each of the other four negative memories of your
ex-partner, and relive them. Carry on until even thinking about them
puts you off.
When you think about the bad experiences again and again, the negative
memories begin to join up so that there is no space between them for
the feelings of love, yearning and regret.
Concentrate on the exercise and do it methodically. Some people have
found that doing this just once makes them feel different. To make
sure the effect sticks, do it every day for two weeks.
• UNDERSTAND YOUR EMOTIONS
The next stage is to learn to understand your emotional reactions
better. Your feelings of heartbreak are unlikely to disappear unless
you cope with what they are trying to tell you.
An emotion is a bit like someone knocking on your door to deliver a
message. If you don't answer, it keeps knocking until you do open up.
Opening the door to your feelings means learning to understand them.
This can be hard, because heartbreak is complicated by other feelings:
anger, fear and shame.
• BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL FIND LOVE AGAIN
You could fall into the trap of remaining convinced that your ex is
the only person you could ever love. This is unlikely to be true on a
planet with six billion people.
So why do you believe it? Can it be because you are desperately trying
to avoid accepting that the relationship is over? Or are you afraid
that the bad feelings associated with heartbreak will never go away?
That fear makes you anxious, and keeps you feeling bad for longer. The
burden of your heartbreak has grown heavier, and a vicious circle has
been established.
• LIVING HAPPILY AFTER YOUR BREAK-UP
A good way of giving yourself a boost - and coping with complicated
feelings - is to imagine a bright future.
1. Imagine the future as a corridor in front of you. Imagine walking
down it, away from the present, towards a door.
2. Open the door, and see beyond it a world in which you have
recovered from your heartbreaking relationship.
3. See what you look like, what you are wearing, where you are going,
whom you are seeing.
4. Now step into this new world and into the new happy you. Imagine
the whole experience from the inside, seeing what you would see,
hearing what you would hear, and feeling how good and happy things are
now.
It is not a matter of believing the image is real: just imagine it as
vividly as possible.
In heartbreak, there is often a backlog of emotional learning to get
through. Do one bit at a time. Your unconscious mind will protect you,
and give you a rest so that you can deal with the next bit. You will
learn to step out of the memories, leave them behind, and start a new
life.
• Extracted from How To Mend Your Broken Heart by Paul McKenna and
Hugh Willbourn (Bantam Press, £7.99). ° 2003, Paul McKenna and Hugh
Willbourn. Do get it and learn more from Paul and Hugh,
Article from: www.dailymail.co.uk
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Wednesday 26 August 2015
Trend fashion: Fashion with Lyness ( cover story )
Its not about trying to be sophisticated,its glowing in simplicity.Everyday we try to get complicated, sophisticated outfits just to look good and feel glamorous and expensive.
But did you know that being fashionable and looking good has less to do with buying expensive clothes and feeling better than others.
It has to do with you and your character. How do you feel about yourself? First things first; Be CONFIDENT about yourself,who you
are and what you have.Because neither your body shape, size or looks can stop you from looking good and being fashionable.
Be CREATIVE. If you think you are not creative enough,then learn from others. But creativity lies in all of us, only we use it differently.
And some of us just decide not to be creative at all.
When you are confident and creative, you can make even the least of the clothes that people expect you to wear look fabulous on you.Do not be afraid to shine. We all can be fashionable and look exquisite in many ways.
Today's Tips:
-Be confident in what you wear.
-Be creative,its up to you to make your outfits fly
-Simplicity counts more than sophistication.
Look out for more tips, and ideas on how to much outfits. Remember to always search deeper inside of you to unravel that creativity out of yourself.
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